Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Another Day, Another Gift

Ryan continues to grow weaker, and yet continues to be strong and hold on. We are not sure why he is holding on so tight, but we cherish every moment and know that he will let go when He is ready.

He slept all day again today, only flickering his eyes open a few times, as if to check who was around. We pray that he is comforatble and that he feels our love and the love of our friends and family.

Sweet dreams little Ryan,

Love Mom and Dad


Anonymous said...

I continue to pray for Ryan and his family. You are always in my thoughts.

Ruth B

ExtraordinaryMommy said...

Oh Jen and Chris - my heart is just breaking for you. I am so, so very sorry. What a sweet, beautiful angel. What a tremendous tragedy. I have prayed for your family from the moment we met and I will continue to do so. I hope the comfort and love you find in each other will guide you through this. Sending love and hugs.

Anonymous said...

I am praying for your family daily and have asked my family, friends, and coworkers to pray for you as well. I am so very sorry for the hurt you are feeling and everything you are having to go thru. I won't pretend to know how you are feeling because I don't. I just pray for God's strength and love and comfort for all of you. Please know you have many people praying and thinking of you daily. Hugs and kisses to both of your precious children and hugs for you Chris and Jen. God bless you all.

JMH said...

Dear Jen, and Chris,
An aquaintance sent me this link about your son and suddenly I was taken back 18 years ago when my own 1st born child Kurt died. We had tried for years to have a baby and finally were blessed with a healthy pregnancy. The day he was born after 36 hours of labor I had a c-section and when they brought him out of the safety of my womb all of our lives changed forever. He had a 1 in a million heart lung defect that they tried to fix but 6 months and many trips to the OR later he left us. He never left PICU at Cardinal Glennon and I never left him as I lived there with him. I am so very sorry that your beautiful precious Ryan. May God wrap you all in his loving arms and comfort you. 18 years ago for me and it seemd like yesterday.Thank you for sharing your beautiful son's story. Below is a favorite of mine.

Fallen Sparrow
(G. Bradford)
A sparrow fell, and no one heard.
No body cared. It was just a bird.
From all the numberless flitting throng
of sparrows,who would miss one song"
But God leaned down and whispered, "I care,
That was one of My sparrows, and I was there."
A beautiful boy, all sunshine and laughter,
(And sometimes scolding, with kisses after!)
And hurts to smooth over, and deed to applaud....
A beautiful boy fell! Where were you, God?
A boy fell! God why weren't You there?

If you're God at all....then You could have prevented
This nightmare of pain! So you must have consented,
I've always believed You Were loving and good,
I'd like to believe still, if only I could.

But God, if You love me, how can You allow
such unbearable pain as I'm feeling right now.
Such helplessness...helplessness...bitter Regret...
So many tears that have fallen and yet
So many more that are still locked Inside.

Oh God...out there somewhere...have You ever cried?
I'm not even sure, anymore that You are real,
But if You are God...do you care how I feel?


Beloved I care in the midst of your grief.
In the midst of your stricken and crumbling belief.
In the midst of the blackness of total despair.
in the midst of your questioning, child... I am there.

"In the midst!" Not far off in some vague fifth dimension,
But there, where you are, giving you my attention.
My constant attention....and not just today,
Since before you were born, I have loved you this way.
You're important to Me, every hair on your head
I have numbered Myself, can these tears that you shed
Go uncounted.......unnoticed? Nay, child, here I stand
Close enough that each teardrop falls into My hand.

I know what you suffer, I know what you'll gain,
If you'll let Me walk with you into your pain.
I'll carry your grief, and your sorrow I'll bear.
You've only to reach out your hand....I am there.

Fear nothing for your dear son.
He is safe in My house, and all heaven's a whirl
With the ring ofhisr laughter, his quick eager smile,
And the things he's saving to show you "after awhile"
Yes, I could have prevented... but, child, you can't see,
With My perfect wisdom, trust him to me.

Of course, you will miss him, but while you are weeping,
Remember, it's only his body that's sleeping
His "self" is awake, wide awake As I said,
I am God of the living, not God of the dead.

Let Me walk with you now, through the long heavy days.
Let Me slowly begin changing heartache to praise.
Take hold of My hand child, take hold of My love.
I will lead you to joys that you yet know not of.
Your faith may be weak, and your trust incomplete,
But I'll walk not too fast for your stumbling feet.