I feel like I am holding onto the edge of a cliff by a fingertip. That I/we are stuck out here, by ourselves. We were foolish enough to walk to the edge (have another baby) and tempt the fate that we may fall off. Now we have fallen, but are hanging by a fingertip. There is a huge valley below, empty, desolate, but the power of one tiny wimper can echo for miles. We took the chance of walking to the edge because we knew that our tiny cry for help would be heard by God and that He would help us. Right now, I just want to ask Him to sling me back on top, to hear my tiny cry. I think, maybe if I just asked Him one more time to see the love for Ryan here on earth and to realize that we would be forever greatful to spend our lives with him. Maybe if I ask One More Time, He would hear me... louder, clearer. Would He change His mind and work the miracle that we all know He can? Is it okay to ask Him to change his mind? I want to, I am.