We saw Charlotte's cardiac surgeon today, Dr. Fiore. He was very nice, and informed us enough, but not too much. He actually resembled Einstein a bit...go figure. Anyway, I'll get down to the point. They did another echocardiogram today, just to have their own images. The picture of the hole in her heart is below, labeled ASD (atrial septal defect). The hole is 12mm in size, just a little bit larger than 1 cm. The 2 atria chambers are on the left, which is the top of her heart, and the 2 ventricles are on the right, which is the bottom of the heart. Or, how my engineer husband labeled "up" and "down". Surgery has been scheduled for Friday, September 7th. It will be at Cardinal Glennon, and should begin sometime around 7AM, which means an early morning for us since we have to arrive at the hospital by 5AM. We are supposed to plan for 4-7 days in the hospital. She will be in the ICU for 2 days, and they hopefully remove the ventilator on the first day.
Meeting with the surgeon today was a bit surreal. Here is this man, I only meet for a total of 30 minutes max, I won't see again until the day of the surgery, and I am trusting him with the most precious thing in my life. At one point, he began talking about how the only reason they would move the surgery was "if they had an emergency come up such as a transplant or something". It truly was in that instant that I realized that this man was probably brilliant and he would do his best for our daughter, not matter how much he knew about her or us. I do have faith in him, but more so in the man that will be next to him, God. He will be there too, watching over and protecting our daughter.
Church this past Sunday, was supposed to have been delivered by one of our female pastors, but she was having some problems of her own, and delivered her son prematurely, knowing he too was going to have health problems. The sermon was about faith, and she would have be delivering it, all the while I am sure, in her own life reassuring herself that with FAITH in God, there is nothing too great to overcome. The sermon was actually delivered by another pastor instead, but as the sermon was delivered, I could picture that woman up there, truly saying to me...have faith. I know what you are going through, I am doing it too, and I know that with God it will be ok. The person that delivered the sermon also said that it is okay to break down, and to feel pain and vulnerable. That God too will be there with you then. I felt that the sermon was intended for me yet again this past Sunday. I wanted to go to church, I wanted to feel God, to listen to what he wanted me to know, and that was what I was told. We have a picture in our bathroom. I put it there purposefully when Chris and I experienced our miscarriages because I wanted to remind myself of the saying each day. Where else do you know you will visit each day, besides your bathroom?? Anyway, it says "Faith is know what you hope for, and being sure of what you do not see". Ever since I have found that saying, it has become more and more a part of my life. It can't be put much more simply than that, but what meaning it has to me. I felt the sermon this past Sunday was just telling me, don't quit now. Now is when you need faith most.
The video is a giggle little girl, who just loves to see mommy's face in the mirror of her new toy. Check it out...